20 Dec Mommyhood, letting go and embracing

Now I’m about to become a mom, for the second time.

This time not as many questions as first time, but now other ones are present. Like, how will it be for our firstborn to have a sibling? What will his reactions be? How will it be for us? Dividing our attention bewteen a toddler and an infant? And particulary, how will that be for me, as the primary body of nurturing and comfort for these little two? Well, the two-year old is no longer latched to me, but he still enjoys very much to cuddle (me too) and now soon he has to share…

Letting go

One of my yoga teachers told me years ago, upon becoming a mom herself, that its much a practice of letting go. And it puzzled me, why? What does it entail letting go in this case? I did imagine many new things to relate to as mommyhood would arise, mostly the baby as a new human in my life, being first priority.

Letting go is perhaps the practice of non-attachment to what has been. As new focus and priorities are added, one needs to clear away or sort out previous ones. Who you have been, things you used to do, how you used to do it, and so forth is replaced by something new. It definetely can be both positive, revitalizing and empowering, though that affords well-regulated expectations balanced for the various phases you find yourself in to a given time. Mommyhood as a new role and aspect of living can be overwhelming as its starts already in pregnancy with hormonal and bodily changes, thoughts and emotional patterns shift, and perhaps you feel less as your self (whatever that means), or perhaps more for that matter, or perhaps you don’t recognizing sides of yoursefl. I find that there is a powerful existential shift in the process of becoming a mom. And it can indeed be challenging to relate to.

The contemplations around who am I is inevitable, as this new omnipresent role take you over, either you want it or not. Thus also thoughts of who you were, and who you are now. These kind of thoughts together with fluxes between the feeling of mastery versus insecurity makes the material of what to practice non-attachment to. And with non-attachment, I find it more realistic to define it as embracement of what is. Embracing who you are, also. With all sides, new and old, nuanced and not (latter read: desperate to the verge of hysteric woman as known in Freudian litterature;)), insecure or trusting, and so forth.

This can be relevant in any phase of your life, shifts and not included, being a parent or not. Knowing something about who you are, how you relate to yourself and the shifts you are in, how you attach to your identity or roles…

How does this work for you?

And with that note (such a philosophic one for a Friday morning before Christmas…),

enjoy!