06 Dec Preparation

I have new slippers, and wishing for new sweatpants from Santa.

I’m preparing for first period with the new born where main focus will be ensuring food, clothing, and caring for the baby, as well as myself. Remembering from last time, getting dressed, eating and just doing few everyday shores was more than enough on my agenda. After nine months of carrying a child, giving birth, and then adjusting to the new, doing the above was more than enough.

The last few months I definitely have noticed the mental shift, where ‘nesting’ thoughts and behavior has afforded more of my capacity. This entails anything from preparing practicalities in the house, organizing clothes for the little one (so grateful for inheriting and borrowing from friends and family as supplement. Small babies grow fast, and so un-necessary to get all new stuff), to becoming more hormonal and emotional.

The latter, recognized by affectual fluctuations (from tears, to joy, to anger etc) in increasing shorter timespans, like often in one day, or hour for that matter;) Or feeling vulnerable, super sensitive or anxious. Becoming more anxious or having increased thoughts of worry, and all the above, is often connected to hormonal fluctuations in pregnancy. And you could even say it’s more normal than not with mood swings, anxiety, and what not. As it is connected to hormonal changes, it serves or used to serve, a function where you (amongst other things) become more attentive to ensure the safety of your baby-to-come.

Though the function of these hormonal changes doesn’t necessarily cohere with that experience, at all. In our modern society expecting mamas are target for handful’s of expectations (implicit as well as more outspoken), and assumptions. Including dealing with the physical and emotional changes of pregnancy (after all, it’s not a disease…), continue ‘normal’ life afterwords (socialize, feel fresh, manage house, family perhaps more kids, etc etc), attaching to your new born, best fall in love with the baby, adjust to new rythms of sleep (or lack of), and on goes the list. Whilst for many mom’s this is not the case. Perhaps even they feel the complete opposite. Or perhaps not feeling anything particular at all. And this is when thoughts of shame, self critique or bad conscious can arise.

Post partum depression is a struggle for many, but not shed much light on in glossy magazines, various internet sources or even between mom’s. Yet many experience this. I find there should be a higher focus on how we actually feel instead of all the things we should or shouldn’t. Your midwife, doctor or other healthcare personnel can be of great support. And my advice would be talk with someone if you don’t feel great, or just wondering if how you feel is normal or not.

Having a child is beautiful in many ways, and also such an individual experience. Just as many moms, as there are babies, are there the various experiences.

My advice is preparation. If you can, alone, with your partner, a friend or a professional, share your thoughts, excitements and worries. Talk about or just think through what you expect from your self or perhaps what you feel are expected of you. Ask for help if you feel its too much.

In the end it comes down to the fact that you want to be the best parent you can. You want to take care of your child as best as you can. And to be able to do that, you need to take care of your self.

Well, well. A friday evening contemplation, and hopefully helpful:) My new slippers does feel very comfortable, and I’m sitting with my feet high enjoying some rare quiet time.

Wishing you all a happy weekend,

enjoy!