18 Jul Simplicity

Just a few days ago, I felt like crying. Alot. I did. Not a lot, but a little. It was tears of everyday exhaustion, cause as a working mom, time and energy seem to be on the lesser side at times. So I had to start letting go, or rather sorting away stuff. From my head, from the to-do-list, everywhere I could. Well, before I did that I asked for help. From my partner, family and friends. And it’s such a good feeling, they all have many good advise on how to get ‘on the plus-side’ again. After sorting away, I started to add. Adding all those ‘giving mommy self-time’ or ‘re-energizing mom’ things (massages, going to an art exhibition, writing diary, reading a magazine…). I call it that and notice that it appears less guilt-primed (while infact I’m full of it!), as I try legitimizing why I need time to be me, time to relax, time to dance, asides from the fact that it obviously will make me a more congruent and happy mom for my child. It feels like that guilt is part of reducing my energy level when its already in a downward squeeze.

I love being a mom. Its nothing I could have imagined, and some parts I could. But only imagine. Now I feel. Its the biggest joy I have ever felt. And, its also very exhausting. Women all over are making so tremedous efforts, taking care of their kids, house, work, partners, social life (?!) etc etc. I’m sure you all can recognize the feeling. Therefor my new practice is simplicity, in every little gap, with the aim to make the gaps bigger.

In need for some zen…